Not Enough Time

The older I get the more I’m starting to realize that my parents have been right about at least one piece of advice (or warning) that they’ve been singing ever since I can remember: “just you wait, there will come a day when you realize that there just isn’t enough time in a day.” As  a youngster I never really understood what this meant; how in the world could there not be enough time in a day? Every day has the same amount of hours and minutes, right?

I was pretty sure my parents were losing it, along with just about every other adult that I knew. I had all the time in the world as I ran around the neighborhood, begged mom to let us play in the sprinkler, and complained about early bedtimes. I just couldn’t figure out what in the world those crazy old people were whining about. Yet now that I’m nearing college graduation, working a full-time job, trying to keep up with this blog and the vlog that I wish was my full-time job, and getting ready to leave the country in less than 30 days, I think I know exactly what my parents were trying to tell me so many years ago.

The more responsibilities and tasks that I put upon myself (because let’s be honest, no one told me I needed to start this blog or go to Oxford), the more I’m starting to ask myself: how in the world am I supposed to get everything done? I understand that there is a need for me to decide which tasks come first, but what if all of them are so important that I’m afraid to let them slip down to the lower end of my to-do list?

I will admit, this blog has slipped down a few spots over the last few weeks, though not intentionally. Sometimes as writer’s I think it’s normal for us to have “dry spells” in which we don’t really feel like we have much to talk about. I have plenty to talk about, but I’ve gotten this weird idea stuck in my head that if I’ve mentioned it in the vlog, it would be some sort of sin to talk about it on here, kind of like self-plagiarism (is that even a thing?)

The reality is that the vlog and the blog are two different things. Yes they are connected on some level, in that both are creative ways for me to talk about things that matter to me, and hopefully to you. Yet at the same time they are worlds away from each other. Writing a post for this blog requires me sitting down and actually planning out what I want to say (most of the time), whereas the vlog is normally just me turning on the camera, opening my mouth, and hoping something worth listening to falls out.

Both are different extensions of my daily life and thoughts, and I absolutely love doing both. Writing is my passion, which is why I started this blog in the first place. I love the idea of sharing thoughts and ideas with each other and helping each other realize that we are all in this crazy world together, so it makes sense that sharing my story in the form of a video is just as exciting for me as writing those thoughts down.

I’m sure this post seems rather disorganized and lacking in a general theme or direction of thought, but all I’m really trying to say is that sometimes life gets busy, and while I wish I could spend all of my time writing and making YouTube videos, the reality is that I can’t. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that writing three blog posts a week isn’t always practical. Posting a video three times a week or more isn’t always going to be practical, either. In fact, I’ll probably be lucky to post anything once a week when I’m in Oxford.

But no matter how busy I get, no matter how many projects and responsibilities I commit myself to doing, I know that I will always be a writer. I will always feel the need to share the things that run through my head and take part in this amazing online community that has turned my world into something greater than I ever imagined it could be. And maybe someday I’ll have the chance to make writing and creating my number one priority, instead of having to compete with the job that pays the bills for now. Someday. It will happen. I just know it.

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